My Favorite Pink Coat ...for Awhile
I once had a favorite pink coat. Maybe its beauty was just an illusion, a trick of the mind. I find that often things are recalled as being more special than they really were. I have only told a few people this story and only to illustrate how I believe God moves us in ways we don't understand to reach out to others in need, no matter how small the gesture. There was something quite magical about that watershed moment in my life and I guard the covetously. It is the moment that God showed me the meaning of true love. In case you have the let the pressing worries of daily life erase the memory of your most precious moments, allow me to retell mine for you.
We, my beautiful little daughter and I, were driving I believe to visit relatives (the reason for the trip escapes my recollection so I will simply say we were visiting) in a snowstorm along the road from Denver to Colorado Springs. I noticed a car to the side of the road and a distraught appearing young man was leaning into the door speaking with his companion. I did the only thing I could do and stopped to help by supplying my battery cables and my car so that he could hook his car up to start it. His wife (I assume) stepped out of the car and in her lovely country accent said with tears in her eyes, thank you so much. We needed to get home and we are almost out of money and we could not have afforded to fix this old car even one more time. We would have had to leave it and walk. I felt an immediate compulsion, without asking her whether or not she had a coat, to take off my new pink coat and hand it to her. She burst into a fresh round of tears and hugged me, saying that she didn't have a coat and that pink was her favorite color and that I must be her Angel sent from God because she had reached the bottom of her life so far and there I was out of the midst of a snowstorm. I know you heard me catch my breath as I told you the story, and I know you may think that I cry over silly things at times, but it is moments like that one that make me realize how infinite is God's love for us and how merciful He is in giving us opportunities to love. He sent me to that spot at that time to make a difference in that young lady's life that hopefully lasted longer than the coat ever did. And, he taught me what love truly is in that instant when he moved me to react to her in such a way. She said she had no money to pay me for what was obviously a brand new and expensive coat. I let her know that with this gesture I had paid a debt I owed to a friend from a few years before who had given me her little second-hand car when I had no transportation and was depending on public transportation. She didn't ask me to pay her in money, rather she asked me to look for opportunities to love. I was young then, caught up in the ego-centric kind of love, looking for what I wanted or needed, and even worrying unnecessarily about my daughter, my husband, myself.
Looking back it all seems clearer now. I didn't need to worry about anything but my reactions to the present moment because all else was beyond my control.
I have tried through the years to remember that little lesson in love. It has served me well when I've been brought in contact with people who are not so loving and who would be hard to love in reality if the ego gets in the way. It is really quite simple to love them, as you too have discovered, my dear friend. You see God in them and you give of yourself to them without any expectation of return, no limits so to speak. The secret to happiness is in loving without any expectation that our love will be returned. In that way we love deeply as God wants us to love one another. We see Him in each other, as we see Him in others.
Now, you might ask, what makes my significant other then different from other people I love. There is a large difference when you allow yourself to be totally honest with one another, without fear of rejection; when you recognize that something you have said might have been hurtful and you apologize without being asked, without reservation; when you can truthfully say that just being in the presence of someone is somehow comforting; when you can sit in silence beside someone and yet feel his or her presence; when you take joy in the other person's joy; when you seek ways to build the other person's self-esteem, confidence, sense of security. Borrowing from Caroline Myss, true love is never going to bed with a grudge beside you or inside you. This means sometimes having to forgive in little doses. It seems to come naturally once you practice a bit.
You will have found the key to true love once you remove yourself from the equation, once you seek to do what the other person needs without thinking of self. You will recognize when your ego got in the way as in your younger days.
And now you have a mission. Reflect on ways you have loved well and take your discovery to those around you. In the meantime, I wish for you happiness, I wish for you abundant love. I wish for you a wonderful life journey.
We, my beautiful little daughter and I, were driving I believe to visit relatives (the reason for the trip escapes my recollection so I will simply say we were visiting) in a snowstorm along the road from Denver to Colorado Springs. I noticed a car to the side of the road and a distraught appearing young man was leaning into the door speaking with his companion. I did the only thing I could do and stopped to help by supplying my battery cables and my car so that he could hook his car up to start it. His wife (I assume) stepped out of the car and in her lovely country accent said with tears in her eyes, thank you so much. We needed to get home and we are almost out of money and we could not have afforded to fix this old car even one more time. We would have had to leave it and walk. I felt an immediate compulsion, without asking her whether or not she had a coat, to take off my new pink coat and hand it to her. She burst into a fresh round of tears and hugged me, saying that she didn't have a coat and that pink was her favorite color and that I must be her Angel sent from God because she had reached the bottom of her life so far and there I was out of the midst of a snowstorm. I know you heard me catch my breath as I told you the story, and I know you may think that I cry over silly things at times, but it is moments like that one that make me realize how infinite is God's love for us and how merciful He is in giving us opportunities to love. He sent me to that spot at that time to make a difference in that young lady's life that hopefully lasted longer than the coat ever did. And, he taught me what love truly is in that instant when he moved me to react to her in such a way. She said she had no money to pay me for what was obviously a brand new and expensive coat. I let her know that with this gesture I had paid a debt I owed to a friend from a few years before who had given me her little second-hand car when I had no transportation and was depending on public transportation. She didn't ask me to pay her in money, rather she asked me to look for opportunities to love. I was young then, caught up in the ego-centric kind of love, looking for what I wanted or needed, and even worrying unnecessarily about my daughter, my husband, myself.
Looking back it all seems clearer now. I didn't need to worry about anything but my reactions to the present moment because all else was beyond my control.
I have tried through the years to remember that little lesson in love. It has served me well when I've been brought in contact with people who are not so loving and who would be hard to love in reality if the ego gets in the way. It is really quite simple to love them, as you too have discovered, my dear friend. You see God in them and you give of yourself to them without any expectation of return, no limits so to speak. The secret to happiness is in loving without any expectation that our love will be returned. In that way we love deeply as God wants us to love one another. We see Him in each other, as we see Him in others.
Now, you might ask, what makes my significant other then different from other people I love. There is a large difference when you allow yourself to be totally honest with one another, without fear of rejection; when you recognize that something you have said might have been hurtful and you apologize without being asked, without reservation; when you can truthfully say that just being in the presence of someone is somehow comforting; when you can sit in silence beside someone and yet feel his or her presence; when you take joy in the other person's joy; when you seek ways to build the other person's self-esteem, confidence, sense of security. Borrowing from Caroline Myss, true love is never going to bed with a grudge beside you or inside you. This means sometimes having to forgive in little doses. It seems to come naturally once you practice a bit.
You will have found the key to true love once you remove yourself from the equation, once you seek to do what the other person needs without thinking of self. You will recognize when your ego got in the way as in your younger days.
And now you have a mission. Reflect on ways you have loved well and take your discovery to those around you. In the meantime, I wish for you happiness, I wish for you abundant love. I wish for you a wonderful life journey.
posted by Angelfish at 7:25 PM
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